So how about the Democratic presidential debate Wednesday in Nevada? Awesome, right?
Turns out all it took was a little “chum” to get the sharks feeding. Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg was the little chum who got eaten alive.
"A billionaire who calls women fat broads and horse-faced lesbians," Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., said of Bloomberg.
"I thought that he shouldn't be hiding behind his TV ads," Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn., said.
"We are sick and tired of billionaires like Mr. Bloomberg seeing huge expansions of their wealth while a half a million people sleep out on the street tonight," added Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt.
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I haven't seen someone look more out of place since Jesse Watters went to confession. Not only did Bloomberg not have a box, he didn't know how to box. Flat-footed at each turn, he exhibited the agility of a corpse.
Warren led the attack relentlessly. Former Vice President Joe Biden, for once, seemed semi-coherent. Klobuchar took the opportunity to clobber the word-faucet that is former South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg.
The big winner? Sanders, who barely got touched, because everyone wanted a piece of the billionaire. Sanders was like a magician benefiting from misdirection. Here, everyone! Look at laughable “Mini Mike” while I steal the nomination.
Of course, Mike had it coming. You don't enter late in the game, throw cash at the crowd, then tell those who've already been playing to drop out once you arrive. Plus, his reputation is piggish.
But it's a sobering observation. Among Democrats, it's worse to be a billionaire who started businesses than to have been an apologist for the Soviet Union during the Cold War.
Because the Cold War was, like, history. And that was 31 years ago. A long time. So maybe Bernie just forgot, like all his supporters did.
That's scary for the rest of us, who prefer capitalism over socialism and who rooted for America, not the Soviet Union, in the 1970s and 80s. We see that success, competition, profit, jobs and incentives can change lives.
Sadly, Bloomberg worked hard, but all he got was rich.
He never stood a chance.
Adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s monologue on “The Five” on Feb. 20, 2020.
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And if ye are in doubt as to what We have revealed from time to time to Our servant, then produce a Surah like thereunto; and call your witnesses or helpers (if there are any) besides Allah, if your (doubts) are true (The Cow 23 )