Kids imitate their parents. They watch our every move. They hear our every word. They sense our every attitude. Our actions, good and bad, become models for their conduct.
Imagine what kind of messages were sent during the college admissions scandal.
Actress Lori Loughlin (“Full House”) and her husband Mossimo Gianulli are the latest parents to plead guilty in the scandal, which came to light last year. The Massachusetts District Attorney’s Office announced Thursday that Loughlin and Gianulli will each plead guilty to conspiracy, likely resulting in jail time, fines and community service.
LORI LOUGHLIN'S PLEA AGREEMENT: WHAT THE TERMS MEAN
As a parenting author and founder of a nonprofit that partners with thousands of schools and universities around the world, I can’t help but wonder what Loughlin and the other parents involved in this scandal were communicating to their children.
Whether they know it or not, many parents of Generation Z kids are sending wrong messages by the very way they approach parenting. In millions of cases (certainly not all) their leadership styles are unhealthy and intrusive — the college scandal being a prime example. They believe they must seize control and do whatever is necessary to get their kids what they want. Or, what the parents themselves want. While it sounds like a noble pursuit, it’s actually back firing on a generation.
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These are the message that I believe the intrusive and controlling parents involved in the cheating scandal sent to their children:
What should Loughlin and the other parents do now? I believe the wisest response would be to meet with their children and model transparency and bravery. They can begin undoing the three messages above by saying:
I suggest parents return to the basics. They need to model a life worth imitating and communicate words and messages that enable kids to become the best version of themselves.
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And He taught Adam the names of all things; then He placed them before the angels, and said: "Tell me the names of these if ye are right."They said: "Glory to Thee, of knowledge We have none, save what Thou Hast taught us: In truth it is Thou Who art perfect in knowledge and wisdom." (The Cow 31-32 )