Thanksgiving is a daunting holiday in the best of times, but this year it is anxiety-inducing in a host of frightful ways. There’s the Quarantine 15 we’re still fighting, the neverending pandemic and now a contested election that may put you at odds with your family and fellow turkey-gobblers. What’s a body to do? Follow these helpful tips for a safe and non-traditional Thanksgiving.
1. GO AHEAD, TALK ABOUT POLITICS
Yes, it’s actually OK to broach the subject, even if you’re at the opposite end of the political spectrum from your backward relations.
The key? Be ready to listen, not force. Accept people may have a different bent, agree to find common ground first, then make your case with humor and love. They’re the most effective arrows in your quiver, and don’t forget: you’re not there to shoot anyone down.
2. YOUR HOUSE, YOUR RULES
That goes for masks, food, music, distancing and politics. Go ahead and lead this dance, and if you DON’T want people talking about the election that leads us to #3… 3. SHALL WE PLAY A GAME?
It may be tempting to bust out the Cards Against Humanity, which is great for inebriated and consenting adults but it can be a recipe for disaster if Grandma is having to answer a question about positions or fluids.
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Instead, fill up a giant punch bowl with difficult questions and everyone gets a turn to answer an anonymous conundrum. Have you ever seen a ghost? Have you ever been arrested? Who do you wish you had married? This can be so much fun!! 4. WHEN IN DOUBT, RANK IT OUT
Let your guests know ahead of time there will be a contest for the best dishes and you’ll all vote, so everyone will step up their game if they think there’s a prize or status on the line. Everyone turns into a Michelin chef when they think there’s a free bottle of hooch on the line. 5. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM
This is critical if you’re going to hit the sauce. Make sure someone you trust can run interference if you start to get into a heated conversation with Aunt Ethel, or if you’re about to give Cousin Grayson a noogie.
Your buddy can take you for a walk if you’ve been overserved, and most importantly can take away your phone so you don’t drunk text your high school quarterback in a moment of romantic clarity. There’s plenty of time to plan and cram, and even if you go virtual you can follow all of these great steps to have the happiest Thanksgiving EVER!
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And We said: "O Adam! dwell thou and thy wife in the Garden; and eat of the bountiful things therein as (where and when) ye will; but approach not this tree, or ye run into harm and transgression." (The Cow 35 )